Alone

It's lonely yet still hard to breathe,
with all of my thoughts still suffocating me.
I've begged for them to leave, but they just want to stay
and at night when they come to play
I can't help, but think
Did I deserve this?
Is this punishment?
Did a past me commit the worse of crimes, because I'd rather suffer from guilt of something I know I've done
then wallow in self-pity believing that I'm not good enough for anyone in this world
If I'm going to alone
then let me be
I plead thy brain, do you not agree?